
This was not the plan.
Or maybe it was, but it took me a decade to realise it.
My fascination with the Ancient Near East and the dynamics of political power goes back to my youth, but it deepened during my BA in Ancient History and MA in Ancient Studies at VU Amsterdam. Even then, I found myself drawn to the bigger questions: how states interact, why empires emerge, and how smaller powers navigate their surroundings. When I graduated in 2014, I knew I wanted to contribute to these academic conversations. What I lacked was a feasible research angle that genuinely added something new.
That gap held me back for a long time. I hesitated to approach potential supervisors. Partly out of insecurity, partly out of a misplaced sense that I needed to figure everything out on my own first. So instead, I focused on what I could do: writing blogs and articles, giving lectures, and slowly working out what kinds of questions felt worth pursuing.
In 2024/2025, I applied for a PhD in Humanities Research Grant under the supervision of Bas ter Haar Romeny and Shana Zaia. The application was rejected. Yet rather than discouraging me, the process clarified something I had been circling around for years: this field is where I want to be. The work itself still excites me. And I’m ready to commit to it fully, whatever the conditions.
To borrow Walter White’s line — stripped of all its dramatic context — it came down to something simple:
“I like it, and I’m good at it.”
That was the turning point.
Continue reading “Why I’m starting as a self-funded PhD candidate”







